Apr 6, 2009

FUTURISTIC TECHNOLOGY...FROM THE 80'S

Can you imagine playing your LPs like CDs? That's exactly what you get with the Laser Turntable. I know what you're thinking, "why would an audiophile want to listen to LPs on a digital system?", however, that's not the case. Confused? Me too. Here's what I've gathered; the Laser Turntable reads your records with a laser rather than a needle, then transfers that data without making it into a digital signal. It's still analog, yet you can skip tracks and do most other things a CD player can do. Using a laser is beneficial because nothing ever touches the record (preserving your precious LPs) and the laser can read more of the groove than a needle can. ELP, the manufacturer of the Laser Turntable, claims that not only can it play scratched and warped LPs, but it can even play broken records if you align the pieces on the tray. Even stranger yet, this cutting edge technology was created back in the early 80's and was actually killed before it hit the market because of an even more futuristic invention...yup, the CD. So, if you have $10,000 you're looking to unload and don't mind having me hanging out at your place all of the time, you should contact ELP.

4 comments:

Jammy G said...

For 10 grand it should also function like a wood-fired pizza oven, lasering dough into delicious pies in just seconds.

Ben said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ben said...

Holy sh!t...

10K, and they only offer a 5 year warranty?!

Chris said...

Yeah, I'm thinking I could probably fit a small pizza in there anyway. In that case I'll only need a two week warranty...